Baby Jane

Baby Jane, Baby Jane 

That was your name 

That I rarely every used 

Unless my front teeth I wanted to loose

Grandma is what I called you 

As I looked for something to do 

Sitting beside you perched on the front porch 

Watching people go by or the fireworks we would torch 

Being called you bug and cookie girl 

Making me feel like I was the center of your world 

Even though you had so many of us we all felt that way 

When we’d make so much noise inside and out of your house each and every day 

I don’t know how you raised so many you cared so much 

You taught us to stand our ground and don’t take no body’s stuff 

You were a woman before your time

You didn’t seem to let anyone make up your mind 

You were unbothered by the perception of what people might say 

Hell you knew we’d all eventually die one day 

You didn’t allow their view phase you one bit 

You rolled your eyes said some words on your porch while you sit 

Simple things seemed special just because they came from you 

Like eating tomatoes with vinegar, pepper, and salt like we use to do 

Listening to the scanner and watching the news 

Rocking in your rocking chair listening to BB King sign the blues 

Scratching your scalp and rubbing your feet 

As you sat in you the chair tapping to the beat 

Looking through pictures hearing stories untold 

Wondering which box adventures would hold 

You taught me to be respectful but never take any shit 

To eat all my food, every single little bit 

To love God who knows my heart 

To get up when I fall and begin to make a start 

You taught to be ready to fight when they came

To handle my business when they miliagned my name 

To be at peace with the earth that yielded us fruit 

To shake and jive with or without a zoot suit 

To smile and to laugh in life there’d be joy and pain 

To keep on keeping on cause it won’t be in vain 

I wish we had more time and I wish I would have cherished the moments we had 

Even the times when I made you so very very mad 

It didn’t feel like enough time but I’ll cherish the memories that we shared 

Like listening to all the gossip you had heard 

Or eating hersey bars from the drugstore 

Cherishing every bite and wishing for more 

I miss you Baby Jane, I mean grandma, you know what I mean 

I love you much more than it may have seemed 

As a kid you gave me space just be me 

As a woman that memory is now what’s setting me free 

I hope and earnestly pray 

That I can walk unbothered one day 

Maybe it was the years and all of the pain 

That taught you to live without playing the game 

Maybe there was a story untold beneath those beautiful soulful eyes 

Maybe there were nights you too laid awake and just did cry 

Maybe the you that I got to meet 

Was not the same one decades earlier walking down the street 

I’m sure it was school of hard knocks where you got your Phd

That eventually helped you to live unbothered and fancy free 

You possed strength but not in the distorted strong black women kinda of way 

You wield your power each and everyday 

You lived outside of labels and the boxes they tried to put you in 

Unbothered as you took a sip from your tin 

You had your flaws as we all do 

But they made you human and allowed me to be real with you 

I miss the phone calls and hearing there’s some white girl on the phone 

I miss the gardening and the quiet moments you and I had alone 

I miss that porch and your rocking chair 

That allowed you to doze off and simply just stare 

Grandma you shaped me in so many ways

I'll be grateful all for the rest of my days 

I hope one day I’ll learn the secret that allowed you to just be 

So that one day I can be unbothered and simply be me