It is Good


The last school year was rough and I’m being kind. So in an effort to start this distance learning experiment on the right foot, I found myself reminding my kids of things they already knew. Checking in on them to make sure they were on task. I was telling them to do A-Z when it was not required by their teachers, just what I thought they should do. I was double and triple-checking that they went to their virtual classes. I was doing the most and felt like I was in the 5th and 8th grade again. I don’t think I was a helicopter parent but...I was pretty damn close.


In my effort to support and create an environment for them to flourish I crossed the ever so thin line that made my kiddos think they needed to perform and be perfect. And if you know me that can’t be further from the truth. I didn’t want to change their personalities or who they are becoming, I just wanted to help them develop good study habits and rhythms that would allow them to thrive. And no matter how much I said I don’t want you to be perfect I want you to be you, my actions were undermining my words. I was hovering over them, communicating they were not enough.


Recently a friend shared that while only an artist can determine when their work is complete the hardest part is knowing when to stop and letting the work be done. She pointed out how sometimes as an artist tries to touch up the imperfections they see, they enviably cause the paint to fade and lose it’s once vibrant colors. Often as parents, we see so much potential in our kids that we keep polishing and touching up the imperfections we see to help them shine, but we inadvertently end up extinguishing their light and causing the vibrance to fade.


Our role as parents is to guide and support and like an artist learn when it's good enough. Some areas will need a little more buffing and polishing then others but at some point, we have to take our hands off and let them thrive through both failures and success. Since both are as a dear friend says: information to help you continue to grow.


I’m reminded of the creation account in Genesis 1. Each day there were a few creative actions followed by a proclamation that it was good. Not perfect but good. I’m learning how to see and know when to take my hands off and proclaim the goodness I see instead of focusing on the imperfection and growth edges. That doesn’t mean I can’t keep imagining or dreaming but it means I have to learn like an artist when my work in a particular area of their life is done so they can be the artist that paints their own life. That means stepping back so they can step forward, experiment, fail, and succeed. That means cheering them on from a distant and loving on them as we each draw near. Our kids won’t get it right all the time and neither will we. We have to extend ourselves and them grace and take time to see what is good in the midst of all that is swirling around. 


I pray we each continue to see how we can take our hands off and simply say it is good.


I’d love to know how you are doing and hear your thoughts.  Feel free to add comments below.

Weekly Activity

Gratitude-Affirmation 


This week I want to encourage you to keep finding space to be still as well as practice gratitude. 

  1. At the end of your day what can you say you are grateful for? What can you say is good in your life or with your kids?

  2. What word of affirmation can you share with your kids to remind them that who they are is good? 


Further Reading 

I invite you to reflect on Genesis 1 throughout this week, noticing the ways God stops even though things are not yet complete to acknowledge the goodness.


https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+1&version=NIV

 

Listen

I encourage you to listen to Lauren Daigle- “You Say” at some point this week: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIaT8Jl2zpI


photo by: mikepetrucci.com from unsplash.com

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